In my profession, self-awareness is a priority and an area where I usually start a training. According to Aristotle, to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom. And knowing ourselves means knowing we are created in the image of a God who desires relationships with us and for us to have healthy relationships with one another. 1 Peter 4:8 says to love each other deeply, but how deep can we go if we don’t know each other, if we don’t have relationship? Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs points to our social needs – the need for being loved, to have belonging, and to have inclusion are crucial for our development of a healthy ego and to achieve self-actualization. Healthy workplace relationships are needed to build productivity and engagement, and supports morale and retention.
As a supervisor and manager, I’ve usually focused my energy on creating and maintaining healthy relationships with my staff – to support their feelings of belonging and inclusion in the workplace. We share our behavioral assessments, discuss personal and professional concerns, spend time together, and give feedback to one another. We communicate often, show support, and have positive interactions.
However, recent events have reminded me that I need to spend as much time and energy on creating a healthy relationship with my manager or supervisor. Instead, I’ve assumed that my hard work and success will speak for itself.
It does not.
Not having a relationship that goes beyond surface level with my direct supervisor has resulted in this person not knowing what I do, not being able to advocate for me to their superiors, not supporting my advancement or salary increase, and general unawareness of who I am as a person. Talk about a morale buster!
My tips are simple: focus on open and effective communication. Send email updates if you can’t have regular one-on-ones with your boss. Be proactive in seeking guidance and asking for support where you think they can help. Try to understand their priorities and demonstrate to them how you can be an asset to them.
At the end of the day, healthy workplace relationships are a two-way street. If you find your boss has no interest in you or your work, it’s probably time to seek employment elsewhere. I can help you work through that.